Day 2

I was recently told that if I don't write something everyday, I'll never be able to continue the blog. I'm not even sure I want to continue, but I hope the single digit number of people who read this actually enjoy it and can see my million dollar smile emerge from the letters when I write a corny joke, so I am going to try and make this happen. Make it work. It diiiiiiiiid work. Yea, baseball chatter.

I never knew what to make of baseball chatter, really. There are all sorts, from phrases to different voices used to cheer on your team. When I first started, I was pretty new to chatter, and I always was very critical of myself and what I said. Many times, chatter is spewed at the most electric speeds, and you must (or at least I do) carefully prepare the words in your head beforehand and wait for the perfect moment. Honestly, nobody does it better than Robert Wuhl, or Larry (third from the left) from the film Bull Durham.

Most of the time, chatter is of the enjoyable nature, mostly to make the bench laugh, keeping the atmosphere loose. I think the overused "don't rub it", "we got ice", and "wear it" (all said when a batter is hit by a pitch) don't really do a job when it comes to chatter. I think, at least for amateur baseball's sake, guys need to come up with something original. I'll tell you, I've put myself to the task. And I don't mean just ranting in different octaves and speeds, I mean clever lines. I won't claim to be good, but I've take the phrase "duck on the pond" (used when runner is in scoring position) and built on it. Anytime there's a hefty man in scoring position, I make sure to convey to the batter he's got "a fat duck waiting on the pond." While it may not sound funny, its better when 50 people (that is both teams, umpires and fans in a an amateur game) all hear it loud and clear when fatty waddles his way into second for a standup double.

As I wrap up, I'd like to take this time and request something from the good 'ol single digit audience. While writing this, I was wondering about softball (I don't mean men playing, I mean the female phenoms who it 95 mph equivalents over the fence) and the chatter they may or may not have. Feel free to contact me or leave any comments regarding softball chatter. Mostly when I watch in on TV, it sounds like shrieks and cheering, but not chatter. Chatter is way way different. With the college world series coming up, pay close attention to the voices on the field - you'll hear it. Atta boy.